How To Be Less Hard on Yourself (Or at Least Try)
How To Be Less Hard on Yourself (Or at Least Try)
A newsletter about writing, art and living more creatively
Hi friends,
It's 2023! Welcome!
Last year, I started to see my bandwidth a little more clearly in terms of how much I put myself out there. By this I mean: pitching stories, submitting applications, etc. It was, after all, a significant year for me: I left a full-time job to work part-time while freelancing. For about seven years, I'd been working full-time and freelance writing on the side.
There were a few reasons for this: I loved writing; I had student debt, so the extra income was important; two of those jobs were social media, so I needed a writing outlet.
But, guess what? It wasn't sustainable anymore. So I made the leap and expected that everything would be so much smoother after that. I could write twice as much!! Instead, I found that I felt very, very burned out. I was writing the same amount, if not less — instead of more. Also, I did a major revision of my 65,000-word manuscript — another motivating factor to changing my work schedule — and I was TIRED.
And then, there were more rejections. And I got even more tired. It was hard to come up with ideas for essays. I often thought: "No one is asking for this right now. No one is demanding my writing. Why even do it?"
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Okay, CHILL OUT GIRL, my brain said to me. Maybe, what I needed was a break. Except that's not always so easy. I was making less money than at my previous job; so I didn't feel like I could take a break.
I related to this ¡Hola Papi column! so much, especially this part:
"I don’t live in a society that rewards “grace.” I live in a society where rent is due and I have certain obligations I have to meet if I want to keep things moving along."
OOF. There are the demands of capitalism/bills. And then, there are my own demands. I've always wanted more, more, more. More acceptances. More shiny bylines. More "proof" that this writing path is worth it. John Paul Brammer talks about how creativity/productivity/income is very entangled, and I related to this too:
"Think about what role you want art to play in your daily life. It will help determine what kind of artist you are."
Try not to be so hard on yourself! You're a whole human. Not a machine. I've said this many times before, but I keep saying it because I also need the reminder: in order to make art, you also have to just live your life.
And you deserve to live your life, just in general!!
This quote from writer and handyman Garth Miró is also great:
"You need to be a person, too, so that you’re not just writing from an aesthetic point all the time. Where you’re writing from a place of reality, you live in the world, you’re interacting with the world. You’re not just completely shut off looking at it as a painting or something."
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I don't have it all figured out. But here's what I can share.
I'm trying to be less hard on myself by:
- Remembering that I'm not the only one who feels this way
- Finding an hour (or even a few minutes) during the work week to do something creative that's NOT writing-related
- Realizing it's okay to be tired!!!
- Thinking about that one book/album/movie I love and reminding myself that not every work of art that has impacted me has ALSO won 10 million awards. That doesn't change how much I've gotten from it. The same can go for my work, too!
- Writing down ideas in a "random thoughts and ideas" document (I use Notion). Saving these for later, when I feel more replenished, helps me cope with the anxiety of "you should be working on that idea you have and trying to sell it!!!"
- Remembering other things that have value in my life outside of productivity: family/friends, petting the cat, cooking/baking
- Checking on my island in Animal Crossing (at least my neighbors love me!! right??) and Cozy Grove (I can at least help these ghost bears figure out their pasts???)
How are you working on taking it easier on yourself? Hit REPLY to share your thoughts!
In my recent work:
Do you know a BIPOC-led 501(c)3 organization doing important work? I'm on the advisory board for Broccoli's Floret Coalition, an anti-racist collaborative of small businesses in cannabis that has collectively donated $270K to BIPOC organizations. Send me your suggestions for orgs here.
I rounded up some of the books I'm excited to read in 2023.
I spoke with Osa Atoe about pottery, community and creative research.
Want to treat me to 🍷 or ☕ to fuel this newsletter?
Venmo: @Eva-Recinos // Cash App: $evaeva33
OR forward this to a friend who might love it!
Keep scrolling for 20+ curated opportunities for creatives, with deadlines coming up!
🎤 LINK: Lupe Fiasco @ MIT "Rap Theory & Practice: An Introduction"
Watch here
✍🏼 Succulent Poetry: Memory and Food Writing (for POC writers)
Feb 4
More info here
✍🏼 Making Time: A Generative Short Story Course with Kate Milliken
Feb 6
More info here
✍🏼 Kundiman Retreat
(for Asian American writers)
Applications due Jan 15
More info here
✍🏼 🌵Ellen Meloy Fund
Desert Writers Award
Applications due Jan 15
More info here
🎨 Sculpture Space Residency Program
Applications due Jan 15
More info here
🎨 Arrowmont School of Arts and Crafts Artists-in-Residence Program
Applications due Jan 15
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🎨 Art Students League of Denver
Visiting Artist of Color Residency
2023-2024
Applications due Jan 20
More info here
🎨 Right of Return USA Fellowship
(for formerly incarcerated artists)
Applications due Jan 20
More info here
🎨✍🏼 NYSCA/NYFA Artist Fellowship (applicants in New York State)
Applications due Jan 25
More info here
🎨 Navasota Artist in Residence
Spring '23
Applications due Jan 31
More info here
🎨 Virginia A. Groot Foundation Grant (sculpture and ceramics)
Applications due Feb 1
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✍🏼 Cave Canem x EcoTheo Collective 2023 Starshine & Clay Fellowship
(for emerging Black poets)
Applications due Feb 2
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✍🏼🎨📸🎼💭 MacDowell Fall/Winter Residency
Applications due Feb 10
More info here
✍🏼🎨📸🎼💭 The Watermill Center 2024 Artist Residency Program
Applications due Feb 13
More info here
✍🏼🎨📸🎼 2023 Shenandoah National Park
Artist-in-Residence Call
Applications due Feb 14
More info here
✍🏼 Kenyon Review Writers Workshop
Applications due Feb 15
More info here
📸 Robert Giard Grant for Emerging LGBTQ+ Photographers
Applications due Feb 15
More info here
🎨 Anderson Ranch Arts Center Residency
Applications due Feb 19
More info here
🎨 The Tidal Shift Award (for Northeast region artists, 14-22 years old)
Applications due Feb 26
More info here
🎨 NXTHVN 2023-2024 Fellowship
(for artists and curators)
Applications due Feb 27
More info here
🎨 The Clay Studio Resident Artist Program
Applications due March 1
More info here
🎨 Houston Center for Contemporary Craft
Applications due March 1
More info here
✍🏼🎨🎼🩰 UCross Residency Program
Applications due March 1
More info here
🎨 Twining Humber Award
(for Washington state female artists,
ages 60 and older)
Applications due March 27
More info here
🎨 Arts Innovator Award (Washington state artists)
Applications due March 28
More info here
✍🏼📚 [PANK] Little Book Contest
Submissions due Feb 1
More info here
🎨 2023 Form, Not Function: Quilt Art
at the Carnegie
Submissions due March 18
More info here
