How to Cultivate Patience
A newsletter about writing, art and living more creatively
I am not a patient person. I was an impatient kid and then I grew into an impatient adult. I sometimes feel like I've been able to turn this anxiety into creative passion, but other times it threatens to upend my mental health. My impatience takes away my sleep. It makes me think "if I don't hear back soon, I'll never get this opportunity." It makes me check my email obsessively.
But little by little, I've had to accept that we don't control when and how things happen. When I started submitting to literary journals, I was SO CONFUSED about the 1-3 month in response time (sometimes longer).
I also felt impatient because I kept comparing myself to others. When would I reach the same success? When would I be good enough?
GIF by fiorfior
Last year, I really loved reading this article in The Creative Independent by Matt Berniger of The National. This part especially made me stop and think:
"Being in the shadows gave us time to find the weird branches that we’d end up going out onto. The fact that there wasn’t much light on us for the first few years helped us figure out who we were."
Here are some ways I've learned to cultivate more patience:
Stop the COMPARE AND DESPAIR.
When I find myself scrolling and getting anxious because it seems EVERYONE ELSE is hitting huge goals and I am not doing enough, I put my phone in another room. I distract myself by petting the cat. And I remind myself that social media is a highlight reel; we have no idea how long someone has been working at what they've achieved.
One of the essays I shared in the last newsletter has been in the works for a year and a half. It went through multiple rejections before it found a home.
GIF by Stefanie Shank
2. Take it little by little.
Kristina, creator of In Bold Company, says that even small shifts in mindset can make a big difference. "I try to focus on what I can do today and break things down as best I can to make the end goal seem less overwhelming. Changing to a daily planner has helped me focus more on daily tasks, gratitude, and taking things day by day."
3. Distract yourself with something else that has a quicker end result.
In the before times, I loved doing workout classes because it was one hour out of my day where at the end I could say I DID THAT. No needing to wait for someone else's approval or to hear back from somewhere. Now, I find ways to do this at home. I've gotten into embroidery. And cooking (I rec this lasagna). Activities that get me away from social media and give me the satisfaction of having finished something.
Kristina also does this: "I tell my anxiousness to go away and I do things for myself I know make me happy and are distracting like binging a good TV show or finding something else to devour that takes my mind off things."
Hope this is helpful! Hit that REPLY button if you have any thoughts or questions. And thank you Kristina for your time. Follow In Bold Company here.
In my own work:
I wrote an essay about walking in L.A. and Carmen Argote's work and Esther Pearl Watson's current exhibition.
In honor of Black History Month, please consider donating to The Loveland Foundation.
Your favorite small but feisty writer,
Eva
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Opportunities of the Month
Massachusetts Artists Grants for Photography
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NYSCA/NYFA Artist Fellowship
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2021 Ambroggio Prize (Poetry)
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Sharpe-Walentas Studio Program
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Woodberry Poetry Room Creative Fellowship
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Jeanne Córdova Prize for Lesbian/Queer Nonfiction
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Randall Kenan Prize for Black LGBTQ Fiction
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McNeese National Works on Paper Exhibition
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AWP Prize for Nonfiction (non-members)
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