How to Find Value in a Project, Despite Rejection

We keep going!

Oct 02, 2023

Happy October!

For artists, there’s often nothing spookier than rejection. Many of us would love a “yes” and fear that we’ll just keep getting “no.” Once you finish all the work — whether filling out a long application or wrapping up a project — it’s all about waiting.

There have been many times when I’ve been afraid to even open an email. Will it be a “yes” or a “no” in the body of the email?? It’s spooky!! (Do you see the Halloween theme I’m trying to create here? Sorry, I had to do it).

But over time, rejection got less scary. I guess I know what to expect now. Or maybe it’s that I’ve been able to distract myself more. I used to fixate a lot on certain submissions, applications, etc. That’s not to say I don’t obsess over certain things I’m waiting for, still. It’s just that with time, I learned to shift my focus to other projects. I learned to just go out and live my life, because that “yes” or “no” wasn’t going to show up while I was sitting at my desk, refreshing my email over and over.

In July, I took a poetry workshop with Muriel Leung, through Women Who Submit. I hadn’t taken a poetry workshop as an adult, ever! I worked on a poem that took inspiration from a photograph, and it was so cool to hear from poets who have been doing this for years. And even though I don’t write poems regularly, I did it — I had a new poem in my hands!

The very kind Alix Pham took a look at my draft in September, giving me really useful feedback and guidance. I decided to take a risk and send the poem out to some lit mags. Soon, I had quite a few submissions in my queue. All I could do was wait.

Fast forward to September, and I still couldn’t find a home for it. So far, it’s gotten five rejections — from May (before Alix took a look) to now.

A past version of myself might’ve thought: What do I have to show for writing this poem? Am I just not good enough? Did I spend too much time on it, when I could’ve been working on something else?

Current me, instead, likes to think: How cool that I wrote a poem again! How lucky am to get guidance from Muriel, Alix and a community of poets! What if the writing of it was the reward? What if that’s what brings it value, not whether or not it gets published?

I can’t say I take every rejection like this! And it’s taken years to talk back to my inner critic, and to stop myself from spiraling. But we keep going! What are your thoughts on a project’s “value” and rejection? Hit REPLY to let me know!