How to Pause

On two recent moments that helped me slow down.

Apr 21, 2025

Header illustration by Heather.

Phew, this month has been busy, my apologies again for this newsletter being a little later!

During a recent Saturday, I took the 720 down to Westwood. I popped open my umbrella to get some shade while I took a pleasant walk to the Hammer Museum to meet a friend. Both of us have memories from our early 20s in the area (some of which, we discovered that day, overlap!) and both of us really wanted to carve out time to see the exhibition “Alice Coltrane, Monument Eternal.”

The show chronicles the life and artistic influence of jazz musician, devotional leader, and mother, Alice Coltrane. From the start, we noticed the really vibrant color palette and intentional design of the show (lots of orange and blue hues), and the sheer size of the exhibition. It’s the kind of show you really need to visit more than once.

The exhibition features ephemera from Coltrane’s personal archive and artworks by contemporary artists that engage with her work. It was clear that so many artists have been influenced by her practices, both musical and spiritual.

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There’s a tangible connection between Alice’s artistic legacy and artists making work today, which you could clearly feel in the video work “Isis & Osiris” (2024) by Ephraim Asili.

The harp figured as a central instrument in Alice’s musical life and in this exhibition. “Isis & Osiris” chronicles a “formative period of Alice Coltrane’s Life and musicianship, shortly after the death of her husband, the saxophonist John Coltrane.” The film also spotlights harpist Brandee Younger as she discusses her influences and performs on a special instrument: the hard-carved and hard-gilded harp that John Coltrane gifted to Alice shortly before he passed away.

“Can you image playing the harp?” I said to my friend. “It’s so ethereal. So other worldly.”

We sat side by side and watched as Brandee unloaded the harp from the trunk of a car and then settled into a recording studio room to play the instrument.

She’s incredible on the instrument, and Asili frames her performance in a series of vibrant, colorful shots that are sometimes surreal and pleasantly disorienting. It feels like an intimate moment, watching Brandee play the harp, knowing the history of the instrument and Alice’s work.

“Are you ready to go?” my friend said to me, after we sat in that dark room for a while. “I mean, I could stay in here all day, but you know,” she said, alluding to the rest of the show.

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I nodded and we wandered through the rest of the exhibition. Taking that moment to pause, to watch an instrument that I rarely see in action, (when do I ever see a harp player?) felt necessary. I felt lighter and I moved more slowly as we walked through the rest of the show.

Other works in the exhibition encouraged pausing and meditating. Among them was Adee Roberson’s piece, which visitors are encouraged to stand on. (We, of course, were hesitant to step on the work at first, until a kind museum guard assured us it was okay).

The Hammer’s text explains: “Roberson's selenite floor sculpture, "BLUE NILE (cosmogram #2)," is inspired by the Kongo cosmogram, an Afro-diasporic spiritual emblem that connects flesh and soul. Music transforms the sculpture into a sound and energy experience.”

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We walked around a bit after the show and then, of course, the weekend drew to a close. My days have felt chock-full of to-do items and scheduling. The week starting to fly by. The pause that we took in that room, watching Brandee play the harp, felt like so long ago. Now the pace was: bus ride, class, phone call, meeting, to-do, to-do, to-do.

One morning during my commute to campus, I was running later than I wanted to be. I decided to get off at the nearest stop, rather than the one before (which I usually try to do, to get more steps in).

The bus doors opened and passengers got off at the stop before mine. But then: we paused. I know that sometimes bus drivers do this when they are ahead of schedule. They wait it out and then get back on the road.

My mind went through the usual tracks of dialogue: Why aren’t we moving? I am already running late. Can we move now please?

But then I thought: Let me pause. Two or three minutes won’t be the end-all. I am nearly there anyway. So I closed my eyes for a bit and took a few breaths. I told myself those breaths would also help me for the rest of the day. I had a lot to do, but for now, I could just focus on breathing.

I took a moment to pause.

And then the bus merged back onto the road and I requested my stop.

ICYMI: Waverly Colville interviewed me on her new podcast, Version 1. Listen here!

Keep scrolling for this month’s opportunities!

A quick note: I know it’s been a really tough month or so, since the last newsletter, for arts funding. It’s heartbreaking to see. I hope the opportunities below are helpful. And I just want to say: please keep making your art!

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